Scraping the Surface

The saga of my back porch renovation continues. Recently I wrote about how it cost me one sprained ankle resulting in a lingering “hitch in my git-along.” The latest chapter concerns removing the old paint from the concrete floor.
I think Hercules must have had an easier time cleaning out the Augean stables.
First I tried scraping with a putty knife. Paint to Emily: “Ha! You think that’ll do anything?! Sucker!”
So I applied a gooey layer of stripper. Two layers, actually, because the Home Depot person said there are two different kinds of stripping paste: an environmentally-friendly formula, and the one that works.
Like a fool, I’d initially chosen to “go green.” It did about as much good as if I’d slathered the floor with some diluted peanut butter, so I went back and bought the nasty stuff. As I was leaving, the sales associate warned me not to breathe in the vapors … something about permanent brain damage.

Anyhoo… sure enough – the stuff smelled like something Erin Brockovich might have sued someone over. I applied it in small squares, trying to hold my breath between each dunk of the brush. Apparently, D.I.Y. stands for “Don’t Inhale Yet!”

I’m not sure exactly when the floor started spinning and turning colors, but after 20 minutes, I woke up and tried scraping again. I was rewarded with something like the surface of the moon, and just about as inhospitable.
Now I know what athletes mean when they say the knees are the first to go. I’m no athlete, but my knees still ache from hours of scraping.

My slow progress was making that 400 square feet feel more like the equivalent 57,600 square inches. (Note to self: buy more ibuprofen.)
“The big picture” was completely discouraging, so I did what any other reasonable person would do, if that person had been beaten down to the physical strength of an old wet, threadbare rag.
I gave up.
To heck with all this stripping and scraping! Maybe some semi-vigorous sandpapering was all it really needed. A little primer, a thick coat of marine-grade paint, and that porch floor will look like new. Yessir, after careful consideration and the loss of only a few hundred brain cells, I think “good enough” will work just fine.
I guess that noxious stripper actually knocked some sense into me.
Playlist:
1. Paint It Black — The Rolling Stones
2. Pavement Cracks — Annie Lennox
3. Rough and Rocky — Emmylou Harris
4. Perfect — Sara Evans
5. Breathe — Faith Hill
6. Harder to Breathe — Maroon 5
7. The Air that I Breathe — The Hollies
8. Broken, Beat and Scarred — Metallica
9. Good Enough - Dodgy
10. Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright — Bob Dylan