The next time you see a product displayed prominently during your favorite TV show, you can blame me. Tired of all that Pepsi, Bud Lite, and KFC showing up in your favorite sitcom? It’s because people like me have AADD (advertising attention deficit disorder).
I’m one of the growing number of TV viewers who think commercials are passé. Out of the tons of TV I watch every week, only a fraction of it is “live.” I’m too busy to waste 15 minutes per hour of TV on commercials!
Nope, I just “tape” the shows for later, with the help of a digital video recorder.
No wonder savvy advertisers use product placement to reach us folks who love to hit the fast-forward button. Live TV is so 2008!
It’s all about being able to get the latest creative content, right when you want it.
Well, that and not having to sit through all those dreadful ads.
If you’re a Comcast subscriber, make sure you take advantage of their DVR package. It will become your best friend and a time-management must-have!
If you’re a subscriber to Netflix, consider Roku as an additional source for on-demand video cravings. It’s a little box that connects your computer’s Netflix account and your TV. Choose from thousands of instant viewing titles online.
Then after you’ve had dinner and walked the dog, you can relax in front of the TV and scroll through your “queue” and watch a show completely commercial-free. Best of all, these instant selections are free with your regular subscription. Now that’s what I call innovation.
One drawback of Roku is that not many titles are current, so if you’re fanatic about a certain series, you won’t be able to access the most recent episodes. Also, the $99 price-tag may be too high for some, but my Roku has already paid for itself in the two months since I’ve had it.
Youtube.com and hulu.com lead the way in free online content. The next step in instant video gratification would be for me to get a gizmo that would turn my big flat-screen TV into a real-time monitor for those Websites.
On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t aim for that option – I’d never leave the house!
Playlist:
1. Channel Z — The B52s
2. Watching the Detectives — Elvis Costello
3. Haven’t Got Time for the Pain — Carly Simon
4. No Time — The Guess Who
5. Salesman — The Monkees
6. Who Will Buy — Oliver!
7. Love for Sale — Talking Heads
8. Save It For Later — Pete Townshend
9. Little Boxes — Pete Seeger
10. Play Me — Neil Diamond
Showing posts with label consumerism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label consumerism. Show all posts
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Old Dog, New Trick
I don’t advocate putting clothing on a dog, unless you’re putting booties on your sled-team’s paws for the Iditarod. Otherwise, it’s pretty much an abomination, in my humble opinion.
I can only imagine poor Fido’s embarrassment when he’s trotted out to show off some horrible polo shirt in the colors of your favorite athletic team. Everyone’s billing and cooing and he’s thinking, “Oh God, someone please save me. This is not helping my image down at the dog park. How humiliating!”
So you can take all your cutesy polka-dot sweaters and pom-pom hats with ear-holes and jumpsuits and hoodies and pajamas for dogs and throw ’em all in the dumper.
At least that’s what I thought until last month.
Turns out there is an instance where putting togs on your dog is not only appropriate, it’s therapeutic.
My dog Annie is 13 years old and gets very nervous when there’s a thunderstorm. At the first drop of the barometric pressure, she begins to follow me very closely from room to room, looking up into my eyes with apprehension, and lying on my feet when I sit down. By the time the lightning and thunder arrive, she’s panting like she just ran a 5K. She wants to stay so close to me, I think she’d wrap herself around me twice if she could. It was only a mild annoyance for me, except for the times it occurred at 4 a.m.
It was getting so bad, my vet prescribed an anti-anxiety drug, but even that wasn’t completely effective.
Then someone told me about a remedy for Annie’s weather-generated canine angst. They said to wear an old T-shirt for a while, and then put it snugly on the dog. I had to cut a slit up the bottom hem of the shirt and tie a knot with the ends so it would be slightly tight around Annie’s middle.
My human smell, coupled with the feeling of gentle pressure all around her, apparently calms Annie and allows her to weather the storm with much less anxiety.
It works like a charm. Wearing my T-shirt, Annie is markedly calmer during storms. That’s good news for this light sleeper, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to start dressing her like a Barbie doll. So if your mutt gets thunder-struck, try the T-shirt trick. Just lay off the sequins.
Playlist:
1. Love Dog — TV on the Radio
2. All Dressed Up — Plain White T’s
3. Don’t Do It — The Band
4. What to Wear — Taylor Swift
5. Dog Problems — The Format
6. Rainy Night in Georgia — Brook Benton
7. This Shirt — Mary Chapin Carpenter
8. T-Shirt — Shontelle
9. Shirt — Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
10. Black Dog — Led Zeppelin
I can only imagine poor Fido’s embarrassment when he’s trotted out to show off some horrible polo shirt in the colors of your favorite athletic team. Everyone’s billing and cooing and he’s thinking, “Oh God, someone please save me. This is not helping my image down at the dog park. How humiliating!”
So you can take all your cutesy polka-dot sweaters and pom-pom hats with ear-holes and jumpsuits and hoodies and pajamas for dogs and throw ’em all in the dumper.
At least that’s what I thought until last month.
Turns out there is an instance where putting togs on your dog is not only appropriate, it’s therapeutic.
My dog Annie is 13 years old and gets very nervous when there’s a thunderstorm. At the first drop of the barometric pressure, she begins to follow me very closely from room to room, looking up into my eyes with apprehension, and lying on my feet when I sit down. By the time the lightning and thunder arrive, she’s panting like she just ran a 5K. She wants to stay so close to me, I think she’d wrap herself around me twice if she could. It was only a mild annoyance for me, except for the times it occurred at 4 a.m.
It was getting so bad, my vet prescribed an anti-anxiety drug, but even that wasn’t completely effective.
Then someone told me about a remedy for Annie’s weather-generated canine angst. They said to wear an old T-shirt for a while, and then put it snugly on the dog. I had to cut a slit up the bottom hem of the shirt and tie a knot with the ends so it would be slightly tight around Annie’s middle.
My human smell, coupled with the feeling of gentle pressure all around her, apparently calms Annie and allows her to weather the storm with much less anxiety.
It works like a charm. Wearing my T-shirt, Annie is markedly calmer during storms. That’s good news for this light sleeper, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to start dressing her like a Barbie doll. So if your mutt gets thunder-struck, try the T-shirt trick. Just lay off the sequins.
Playlist:
1. Love Dog — TV on the Radio
2. All Dressed Up — Plain White T’s
3. Don’t Do It — The Band
4. What to Wear — Taylor Swift
5. Dog Problems — The Format
6. Rainy Night in Georgia — Brook Benton
7. This Shirt — Mary Chapin Carpenter
8. T-Shirt — Shontelle
9. Shirt — Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
10. Black Dog — Led Zeppelin
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Leak in Review
I’ve heard people say the Internet is putting traditional brick-and-mortar stores out of business. They’re partly right, but there’s a certain local store that wouldn’t have gotten my business last weekend if it weren’t for the World Wide Web.
I had a plumbing problem that had started about a week before – a telltale dripping sound coming from the shower. You’ve heard of the 5 stages of grief? I went through the leaky shower equivalent: denial (earplugs), anger (“It’s getting worse!”), bargaining (“If this leak would just magically stop, I promise to clean the garage.”), depression (a bucket) and acceptance (“It’s not going away. Gotta do something!”).
The great thing about the Internet is that whatever your problem is, chances are someone else has experienced the same thing and has blogged, chatted or consulted someone else about it.
Sure enough, I Googled and found someone with the exact same leaky shower who’d posted the entire repair process in a handy sequence of pictures.
The folks at Home Depot were also helpful, and here’s where they’ve got the Internet beat. While I was there, I picked up a few other items that I’d been needing for a while, plus a few impulse buys (every home should have a giant economy-size roll of Day-Glo orange duct tape).
Back home, a few turns of the strap wrench, maybe a skinned knuckle or two and the shower was good as new. No Web site could have provided that same-day satisfaction!
A plumber would have cost a bundle, and nothing compares with the rewarding feeling of having done the job all by myself.
I’m not saying the Internet allows us to do away with repair crews across the board. I’ll call a professional every time for something major. But it sure was handy when this budget-minded gal needed little free advice. Best of all – that drip is history!
Playlist:
1. Drip, Drip, Drip — Spike Jones & His City Slickers
2. Bleep Blop Blues — Manhattan Transfer
3. Drip Drop — The Drifters
4. Who Can I Turn To — Sammy Davis Jr.
5. Every Picture Tells a Story — Rod Stewart
6. All I’ve Got to Do — The Beatles
7. Dirty Work — Steely Dan
8. My Way — Frank Sinatra
9. Even Flow — Pearl Jam
10. Silence Is Golden — The Tremeloes
I had a plumbing problem that had started about a week before – a telltale dripping sound coming from the shower. You’ve heard of the 5 stages of grief? I went through the leaky shower equivalent: denial (earplugs), anger (“It’s getting worse!”), bargaining (“If this leak would just magically stop, I promise to clean the garage.”), depression (a bucket) and acceptance (“It’s not going away. Gotta do something!”).
The great thing about the Internet is that whatever your problem is, chances are someone else has experienced the same thing and has blogged, chatted or consulted someone else about it.
Sure enough, I Googled and found someone with the exact same leaky shower who’d posted the entire repair process in a handy sequence of pictures.
The folks at Home Depot were also helpful, and here’s where they’ve got the Internet beat. While I was there, I picked up a few other items that I’d been needing for a while, plus a few impulse buys (every home should have a giant economy-size roll of Day-Glo orange duct tape).
Back home, a few turns of the strap wrench, maybe a skinned knuckle or two and the shower was good as new. No Web site could have provided that same-day satisfaction!
A plumber would have cost a bundle, and nothing compares with the rewarding feeling of having done the job all by myself.
I’m not saying the Internet allows us to do away with repair crews across the board. I’ll call a professional every time for something major. But it sure was handy when this budget-minded gal needed little free advice. Best of all – that drip is history!
Playlist:
1. Drip, Drip, Drip — Spike Jones & His City Slickers
2. Bleep Blop Blues — Manhattan Transfer
3. Drip Drop — The Drifters
4. Who Can I Turn To — Sammy Davis Jr.
5. Every Picture Tells a Story — Rod Stewart
6. All I’ve Got to Do — The Beatles
7. Dirty Work — Steely Dan
8. My Way — Frank Sinatra
9. Even Flow — Pearl Jam
10. Silence Is Golden — The Tremeloes
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Annoying Array Augments Angst
Here’s something that makes no sense to me.
I go out to the drugstore for a new toothbrush. All I want is a simple, straight toothbrush with bristles on one end and a handle on the other. No such luck!
I can buy one with a super-contoured ergonomic grip, one with three kinds of specialized bristles, a collapsing one, an electrified spinning one, one that rotates, one for kids, one that’s flavored, one that’s concave to fit around the teeth, practically every kind of toothbrush short of one that stands up and sings Dixie and actually brushes your teeth for you.
But I’m here to tell you that you cannot find one that’s plain. Just a handy piece of plastic that, although simple in design, will become your best friend after a long night of popcorn and Coke.
I’m standing there at the drugstore in front of the wall of toothbrushes and think to myself, “only in America can something so easy become so difficult.” Apparently, a tried and true product that does what it’s supposed to do (and nothing more) is too much to ask for in this fancy-fied day and age.
I mean come on, folks – are we this lazy? Can we not move our wrist back and forth and agitate the bristles ourselves? Is it really too much to have to hold onto a toothbrush without having to push onto a little thumb-guard on the stem, or a nubbly, rubberized area on the handle?
I, for one, was fine using a brush without these features for 40-some-odd years, and I don’t need extra help now. Plus, with all these “improvements,” my new toothbrush won’t fit into the slot of the bathroom fixture for which it was designed.
I wouldn’t mind so much if I could choose between those advanced toothbrushes and the plain ones. But somewhere along the line, the plain toothbrush has gone the way of the dodo. It’s not to be found, and believe me, I’ve looked!
I’m sure it’s all about the money. The toothbrush-makers have figured out that if they make one that looks more complicated, they can charge more money for it! But the marketing geniuses forgot one thing. Some people like their toothbrushes the old way!
Now dentists are even in on the scam. I went for my six-month check-up, and sure enough, the toothbrush they handed me on my way out was one of the new-fangled ones. I handed it back, asking in dismay, “what happened to good ol’ Oral-B 40?”
Back in the glory days, that’s what dentists always recommended. It was the workhorse of the pros, the Chevy of oral care. Now they only offer Cadillacs, and I don’t need one.
I guess I’m just old-fashioned, but for clean teeth, I don’t need flashy or mechanical implements. Next thing you know, they’ll start selling motorized floss.
Playlist:
1. The Hard Way – James Hunter
2. Give Me The Simple Life – Rosemary Clooney
3. I’m Old-Fashioned – Ella Fitzgerald
4. Just One Look – Doris Troy
5. Can’t Buy Me Love – The Beatles
6. Things Ain’t Like They Used To Be – The Black Keys
7. Simple Man – Graham Nash
8. Old School – John Conlee
9. Straight Up – Paula Abdul
10. Simply Irresistible – Robert Palmer
I go out to the drugstore for a new toothbrush. All I want is a simple, straight toothbrush with bristles on one end and a handle on the other. No such luck!
I can buy one with a super-contoured ergonomic grip, one with three kinds of specialized bristles, a collapsing one, an electrified spinning one, one that rotates, one for kids, one that’s flavored, one that’s concave to fit around the teeth, practically every kind of toothbrush short of one that stands up and sings Dixie and actually brushes your teeth for you.
But I’m here to tell you that you cannot find one that’s plain. Just a handy piece of plastic that, although simple in design, will become your best friend after a long night of popcorn and Coke.
I’m standing there at the drugstore in front of the wall of toothbrushes and think to myself, “only in America can something so easy become so difficult.” Apparently, a tried and true product that does what it’s supposed to do (and nothing more) is too much to ask for in this fancy-fied day and age.
I mean come on, folks – are we this lazy? Can we not move our wrist back and forth and agitate the bristles ourselves? Is it really too much to have to hold onto a toothbrush without having to push onto a little thumb-guard on the stem, or a nubbly, rubberized area on the handle?
I, for one, was fine using a brush without these features for 40-some-odd years, and I don’t need extra help now. Plus, with all these “improvements,” my new toothbrush won’t fit into the slot of the bathroom fixture for which it was designed.
I wouldn’t mind so much if I could choose between those advanced toothbrushes and the plain ones. But somewhere along the line, the plain toothbrush has gone the way of the dodo. It’s not to be found, and believe me, I’ve looked!
I’m sure it’s all about the money. The toothbrush-makers have figured out that if they make one that looks more complicated, they can charge more money for it! But the marketing geniuses forgot one thing. Some people like their toothbrushes the old way!
Now dentists are even in on the scam. I went for my six-month check-up, and sure enough, the toothbrush they handed me on my way out was one of the new-fangled ones. I handed it back, asking in dismay, “what happened to good ol’ Oral-B 40?”
Back in the glory days, that’s what dentists always recommended. It was the workhorse of the pros, the Chevy of oral care. Now they only offer Cadillacs, and I don’t need one.
I guess I’m just old-fashioned, but for clean teeth, I don’t need flashy or mechanical implements. Next thing you know, they’ll start selling motorized floss.
Playlist:
1. The Hard Way – James Hunter
2. Give Me The Simple Life – Rosemary Clooney
3. I’m Old-Fashioned – Ella Fitzgerald
4. Just One Look – Doris Troy
5. Can’t Buy Me Love – The Beatles
6. Things Ain’t Like They Used To Be – The Black Keys
7. Simple Man – Graham Nash
8. Old School – John Conlee
9. Straight Up – Paula Abdul
10. Simply Irresistible – Robert Palmer
Sunday, December 28, 2008
You Shouldn't Have!
Did you get a dumb Christmas gift this year? I didn’t, but I do get several catalogs in the mail that I’ve noticed offer some of the silliest items I’ve ever seen. Some are downright stupid if you ask me. Only in America can we come up with these things we never knew we needed, and apparently people are buying them.
Take for instance the computerized water bottle. They’ve come up with “the world’s first interactive water bottle.” It costs $30 and has a digital display on the side of it that tells you if you’ve had enough to drink, how many sips you’ve taken, etc. Silly me! Here I’ve been relying on my sense of thirst! I guess I’m just an amateur when it comes to self-hydration.
Another gift that personifies overkill is the SmartShopper organizer. It’s basically a high-tech grocery list. You’re supposed to mount it on the wall, speak your list into it, and it will print any of 2,500 preloaded grocery items, plus it’s customizable. (Thank goodness! I bet “Cheez-Its” and “strawberry rhubarb pie” aren’t on there yet.)
You can own this labor saving device to the tune of $149.95 plus $7.95 for extra paper refills (batteries not included). That's a lotta lettuce! Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t most people have some scrap paper and a ballpoint pen lying around? I guess the SmartShopper is for that special person who has more money than sense.
I saw a real winner recently – a water bowl for your dog that’s shaped like a miniature toilet. As if anyone would want to encourage that behavior! The catalog copy says “family and guests get a big laugh.” I guess I just don’t have the “potty humor” sensibility required to appreciate that one.
Just for future reference, the three ways that I would least wish to be awakened: by an airplane twirling in a circle with flashing lights and motor revving, with the sound of a drum solo and with the sound of a chimpanzee. All of these are actual novelty alarm clocks that are for sale. Yup, nothing says “good morning” like a wild animal shrieking in your ear. Why don’t they just skip right to fingernails on a chalkboard?
And what about a whimsical container in which to present your gift card? Talk about gilding the lily. There’s a challenging “gift card maze” puzzle on the market that’s a bit demeaning; it’s like you’re saying, “Here’s your money, but you’ll have to work for it!” And it’s made of clear plastic, so you can see what you’re trying to get at. I wonder how many of those puzzles have already ended up coming into close and intense contact with a hammer.
I do hope you got everything you wanted this year, i.e., no stupid presents. And when it comes to giving, well, we’ve all heard that it’s the thought that counts. So when Christmas rolls around next year, give some extra thought to giving these kinds of gifts – and then get them something else!
Playlist:
1. I Really Don't Want Much for Christmas – Patti Austin
2. Don't Be Stupid – Shania Twain
3. You Give Me Something – James Morrison
4. Don't Know Why – Nora Jones
5. Little Things Mean A Lot – Kitty Kallen
6. Money (That's What I Want ) – The Beatles
7. Just What I Needed – The Cars
8. (You Got To) Give It To Me – J. Geils Band
9. What Was I Thinking - Dierks Bently
10. Things I Don't Understand – Coldplay
Take for instance the computerized water bottle. They’ve come up with “the world’s first interactive water bottle.” It costs $30 and has a digital display on the side of it that tells you if you’ve had enough to drink, how many sips you’ve taken, etc. Silly me! Here I’ve been relying on my sense of thirst! I guess I’m just an amateur when it comes to self-hydration.
Another gift that personifies overkill is the SmartShopper organizer. It’s basically a high-tech grocery list. You’re supposed to mount it on the wall, speak your list into it, and it will print any of 2,500 preloaded grocery items, plus it’s customizable. (Thank goodness! I bet “Cheez-Its” and “strawberry rhubarb pie” aren’t on there yet.)
You can own this labor saving device to the tune of $149.95 plus $7.95 for extra paper refills (batteries not included). That's a lotta lettuce! Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t most people have some scrap paper and a ballpoint pen lying around? I guess the SmartShopper is for that special person who has more money than sense.
I saw a real winner recently – a water bowl for your dog that’s shaped like a miniature toilet. As if anyone would want to encourage that behavior! The catalog copy says “family and guests get a big laugh.” I guess I just don’t have the “potty humor” sensibility required to appreciate that one.
Just for future reference, the three ways that I would least wish to be awakened: by an airplane twirling in a circle with flashing lights and motor revving, with the sound of a drum solo and with the sound of a chimpanzee. All of these are actual novelty alarm clocks that are for sale. Yup, nothing says “good morning” like a wild animal shrieking in your ear. Why don’t they just skip right to fingernails on a chalkboard?
And what about a whimsical container in which to present your gift card? Talk about gilding the lily. There’s a challenging “gift card maze” puzzle on the market that’s a bit demeaning; it’s like you’re saying, “Here’s your money, but you’ll have to work for it!” And it’s made of clear plastic, so you can see what you’re trying to get at. I wonder how many of those puzzles have already ended up coming into close and intense contact with a hammer.
I do hope you got everything you wanted this year, i.e., no stupid presents. And when it comes to giving, well, we’ve all heard that it’s the thought that counts. So when Christmas rolls around next year, give some extra thought to giving these kinds of gifts – and then get them something else!
Playlist:
1. I Really Don't Want Much for Christmas – Patti Austin
2. Don't Be Stupid – Shania Twain
3. You Give Me Something – James Morrison
4. Don't Know Why – Nora Jones
5. Little Things Mean A Lot – Kitty Kallen
6. Money (That's What I Want ) – The Beatles
7. Just What I Needed – The Cars
8. (You Got To) Give It To Me – J. Geils Band
9. What Was I Thinking - Dierks Bently
10. Things I Don't Understand – Coldplay
