Born to be Mild

I’m as big a nature-lover as the next guy, but not in the sense that I want to actually be in it. I usually appreciate wildlife from the pages of a magazine or on TV from the comfort of my recliner. It may be a once-removed experience, but that way I avoid pesky things like snakebites, hypothermia and that nagging feeling that any minute Jason from “Friday the 13th” is going to slash through my shiny new LL Bean Eddie Bauer Model X3000 tent and stab me to death.

Growing up, the most I remember of the great outdoors was the rare picnic at “The Y” in Townsend, and that memory mostly involves the hamburgers and potato salad, not any direct interaction with any wild animals (except for the kind that yell “Watch this!” as they jump off the cliff into the churning rapids and jagged rocks below).
I admit it. I’m an urban nerd.

I’m more Woody Allen than woodsy, more Bob Fosse than Diane Fossey. More National Lampoon than national forest. But even this city gal needs an occasional respite from the noise and smog. A break from the linear confines of buildings and technology and responsibilities.

So despite my trepidation, last week I ventured out into nature. My best friend and I rented a rustic cabin along the Pigeon River in the mountains of Western North Carolina.
And by rustic, I mean there was no Internet and no cable TV. Imagine not being able to check the Web for instant identification of flora and fauna, for the lyrics to that annoying song in my head, or for answers to my crossword puzzles. Now that’s roughing it!
I’ll tell you what was nice, though: watching the rainbow trout glide by as I floated in the cool, clear waters of the big swimming hole. Also staring into a cozy fire as the rain beat down on the tin roof, and inhaling the rich, wet earthy air after the storm had passed. And maybe best of all: no clocks or cell phones anywhere in sight.
I won’t be hiking the Appalachian Trail any time soon, but I enjoyed the heck out of my relaxing week in the semi-wilderness, and I’d do it again in a New York minute. Next time I might even leave the iPod at home.
Playlist:
1. Wild Thing — The Troggs
2. Stoned Soul Picnic — The Fifth Dimension
3. Real Wild Child — Jerry Lee Lewis
4. Mountain Music — Alabama
5. Nature Boy — Nat “King” Cole
6. Wild Mountain Thyme — Liam Clancy
7. Float On — The Floaters
8. Hot Fun in the Summertime — Sly & The Family Stone
9. Let the River Run — Carly Simon
10. Don’t Worry, Be Happy — Bobby McFerrin