The other night as I washed up the supper dishes, I caught myself scrubbing out a used sandwich baggie and realized that was something my Dad used to do. As I clipped it to a clothespin to dry, I chuckled, thinking the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree.
OK, I’ll admit it. Daddy was a tightwad. And people say I take after him, so I’m sure I inherited some of his stinginess.
At any rate, there I was re-using this old baggie, and I started to ponder the roots of Dad’s crazy penchant for penny-pinching.
Victor Robert Schoen was born in 1929, living his first years as the Great Depression bore down relentlessly on America. As an impressionable child, what fear and desperation did he and others of his generation witness and absorb during that terrible era? I can only imagine, but I’m sure it’s something you never get over.
Maybe that’s why his whole life, despite his respectable bank balance and his standing in the community, he continued to do things like pull apart two-ply Kleenexes, carefully saving one ply for later. He also wore the same pair of jeans for decades until they were practically as thin as that half-a-Kleenex!
Maybe fear of being without is what compelled him to use out-of-date salad dressing and casually pull meat out of the freezer that’d been stored there for years.
I’ll never forget the time he came over for dinner, and I was chopping up some vegetables and throwing out the ends and rotten parts into the compost bin. He stuck his hand in the garbage, pulled out some pitiful scrap of something and said, “Look – it’s perfectly fine!” And ate it. That’s my Daddy!
“It’s perfectly fine” has become a catch-phrase for when I’m showing signs of becoming miserly in the extremis.
But don’t think I had Ebenezer Scrooge for a father! He had his generous moments. And being tight-fisted was only one of his many traits. He was also creative, witty and intelligent. And much of his thrift makes good sense to me now, especially in this age of re-use and recycle. Heck, I wouldn’t think of throwing out a pump-bottle of lotion without cutting it in half to get out the last remains. (Do you know how much is left in there? I’m on week two of “empty bottle.”)
We all make our own way in this world, but sometimes our similarities to our parents are hard to ignore. God forbid the economy ever gets as bad as it did back in ’29, but if it does, I hope that my instinct will be to act out of optimism and compassion, not fear of loss and deprivation.
Rest his soul, my father passed away just over five years ago. But every day I’m reminded of the little things he did. Not all good or all bad, just uniquely ... Daddy.
Playlist:
1. Daddy – Julie London
2. Thrifty – Napoleon Dynamite Soundtrack
3. Kid Fears – Indigo Girls
4. Patches – Clarence Carter
5. Cat’s in the Cradle – Harry Chapin
6. Daughters – John Mayer
7. Keep It Between the Lines – Ricky Van Shelton
8. Father and Son – Cat Stevens
9. Daddy Don’t You Walk So Fast – Eddy Arnold
10. Old Man – Neil Young
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Mass distraction
We haven’t even been in this so-called recession for very long (is it time to leave off the “so-called” yet?), but I’m already tired of conversations starting with the phrase “in these tough economic times.” For better or worse, it’s a reality that experts say we’re going to have to get used to.
Case in point: I’ve used the same Capital One credit card for years and have never been late on a payment. And yet they suddenly informed me they’re doubling my interest rate.
My first reaction was, “What did I do to deserve this?!”
Answer: nothing. It’s just that even the solvent banks are freaking out and want to cover their butts. Like I heard the other day: a low tide pulls down all the boats.
With each hard-earned greenback being stretched to the limit, all of us little guys have begun to think twice about things we always used to take for granted, like vacations and cable TV. “In these tough economic times,” we ponder whether it’s really worth it.
For me, what’s worth it is something that makes me feel good on a really deep-down, emotional level; budget and convenience are still factors, but relaxation and entertainment certainly aren’t luxuries. “In these tough economic times,” they mean even more than ever!
Feeding the soul often means re-living a childhood memory or experience.
A friend of mine recently went online to track down his favorite childhood soft drink, plunking down plenty for the delivery of a full case of grape Nehi in the original glass bottles. It doesn’t get any more sentimental than that! Another pal pulled out the old boat for a tranquil afternoon on the lake –good bang for the buck!
Remember the scene in “Shawshank Redemption” where they drink beer on the roof? That’s the feeling we’re talking about here. It’s freedom, it’s memory. It’s powerful stuff.
Some folks get all warm and fuzzy replacing old VHS favorites with DVDs and downloading digital versions of near-forgotten vinyl LPs. As for me, I’ve had a craving lately for meatloaf the way Mama used to make it, and I just might search it out. The idea here is to do whatever it is that transports you back to that place of safety and serenity.
I haven’t followed baseball for many years (unless you count every October). But something about spring training makes me once again long for the boys of summer. For three hours or so, I can banish deficits and layoffs completely from my consciousness. I know it’s an extravagance. I know about the steroid use and the obscenely high player contracts. But baseball is still a terrific game that’s stayed essentially the same since I was a kid. Maybe I’ll see you at a Smokies game when the season starts in earnest. It’d be the perfect antidote to reality.
Playlist:
1. Get Used To It – Roger Voudouris
2. Sign ‘O’ the Times – Prince
3. Low Budget – The Kinks
4. I'm Busted – Ray Charles and The Count Basie Orchestra
5. Hard Times – Queen Latifah
6. I Got Plenty o’ Nuttin’ – Sammy Davis, Jr.
7. Turn Back the Hands of Time – Tyrone Davis
8. Memories – Elvis Presley
9. There’s A Place – The Beatles
10. Cowboy Take Me Away – The Dixie Chicks
Case in point: I’ve used the same Capital One credit card for years and have never been late on a payment. And yet they suddenly informed me they’re doubling my interest rate.
My first reaction was, “What did I do to deserve this?!”
Answer: nothing. It’s just that even the solvent banks are freaking out and want to cover their butts. Like I heard the other day: a low tide pulls down all the boats.
With each hard-earned greenback being stretched to the limit, all of us little guys have begun to think twice about things we always used to take for granted, like vacations and cable TV. “In these tough economic times,” we ponder whether it’s really worth it.
For me, what’s worth it is something that makes me feel good on a really deep-down, emotional level; budget and convenience are still factors, but relaxation and entertainment certainly aren’t luxuries. “In these tough economic times,” they mean even more than ever!
Feeding the soul often means re-living a childhood memory or experience.
A friend of mine recently went online to track down his favorite childhood soft drink, plunking down plenty for the delivery of a full case of grape Nehi in the original glass bottles. It doesn’t get any more sentimental than that! Another pal pulled out the old boat for a tranquil afternoon on the lake –good bang for the buck!
Remember the scene in “Shawshank Redemption” where they drink beer on the roof? That’s the feeling we’re talking about here. It’s freedom, it’s memory. It’s powerful stuff.
Some folks get all warm and fuzzy replacing old VHS favorites with DVDs and downloading digital versions of near-forgotten vinyl LPs. As for me, I’ve had a craving lately for meatloaf the way Mama used to make it, and I just might search it out. The idea here is to do whatever it is that transports you back to that place of safety and serenity.
I haven’t followed baseball for many years (unless you count every October). But something about spring training makes me once again long for the boys of summer. For three hours or so, I can banish deficits and layoffs completely from my consciousness. I know it’s an extravagance. I know about the steroid use and the obscenely high player contracts. But baseball is still a terrific game that’s stayed essentially the same since I was a kid. Maybe I’ll see you at a Smokies game when the season starts in earnest. It’d be the perfect antidote to reality.
Playlist:
1. Get Used To It – Roger Voudouris
2. Sign ‘O’ the Times – Prince
3. Low Budget – The Kinks
4. I'm Busted – Ray Charles and The Count Basie Orchestra
5. Hard Times – Queen Latifah
6. I Got Plenty o’ Nuttin’ – Sammy Davis, Jr.
7. Turn Back the Hands of Time – Tyrone Davis
8. Memories – Elvis Presley
9. There’s A Place – The Beatles
10. Cowboy Take Me Away – The Dixie Chicks
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Annoying Array Augments Angst
Here’s something that makes no sense to me.
I go out to the drugstore for a new toothbrush. All I want is a simple, straight toothbrush with bristles on one end and a handle on the other. No such luck!
I can buy one with a super-contoured ergonomic grip, one with three kinds of specialized bristles, a collapsing one, an electrified spinning one, one that rotates, one for kids, one that’s flavored, one that’s concave to fit around the teeth, practically every kind of toothbrush short of one that stands up and sings Dixie and actually brushes your teeth for you.
But I’m here to tell you that you cannot find one that’s plain. Just a handy piece of plastic that, although simple in design, will become your best friend after a long night of popcorn and Coke.
I’m standing there at the drugstore in front of the wall of toothbrushes and think to myself, “only in America can something so easy become so difficult.” Apparently, a tried and true product that does what it’s supposed to do (and nothing more) is too much to ask for in this fancy-fied day and age.
I mean come on, folks – are we this lazy? Can we not move our wrist back and forth and agitate the bristles ourselves? Is it really too much to have to hold onto a toothbrush without having to push onto a little thumb-guard on the stem, or a nubbly, rubberized area on the handle?
I, for one, was fine using a brush without these features for 40-some-odd years, and I don’t need extra help now. Plus, with all these “improvements,” my new toothbrush won’t fit into the slot of the bathroom fixture for which it was designed.
I wouldn’t mind so much if I could choose between those advanced toothbrushes and the plain ones. But somewhere along the line, the plain toothbrush has gone the way of the dodo. It’s not to be found, and believe me, I’ve looked!
I’m sure it’s all about the money. The toothbrush-makers have figured out that if they make one that looks more complicated, they can charge more money for it! But the marketing geniuses forgot one thing. Some people like their toothbrushes the old way!
Now dentists are even in on the scam. I went for my six-month check-up, and sure enough, the toothbrush they handed me on my way out was one of the new-fangled ones. I handed it back, asking in dismay, “what happened to good ol’ Oral-B 40?”
Back in the glory days, that’s what dentists always recommended. It was the workhorse of the pros, the Chevy of oral care. Now they only offer Cadillacs, and I don’t need one.
I guess I’m just old-fashioned, but for clean teeth, I don’t need flashy or mechanical implements. Next thing you know, they’ll start selling motorized floss.
Playlist:
1. The Hard Way – James Hunter
2. Give Me The Simple Life – Rosemary Clooney
3. I’m Old-Fashioned – Ella Fitzgerald
4. Just One Look – Doris Troy
5. Can’t Buy Me Love – The Beatles
6. Things Ain’t Like They Used To Be – The Black Keys
7. Simple Man – Graham Nash
8. Old School – John Conlee
9. Straight Up – Paula Abdul
10. Simply Irresistible – Robert Palmer
I go out to the drugstore for a new toothbrush. All I want is a simple, straight toothbrush with bristles on one end and a handle on the other. No such luck!
I can buy one with a super-contoured ergonomic grip, one with three kinds of specialized bristles, a collapsing one, an electrified spinning one, one that rotates, one for kids, one that’s flavored, one that’s concave to fit around the teeth, practically every kind of toothbrush short of one that stands up and sings Dixie and actually brushes your teeth for you.
But I’m here to tell you that you cannot find one that’s plain. Just a handy piece of plastic that, although simple in design, will become your best friend after a long night of popcorn and Coke.
I’m standing there at the drugstore in front of the wall of toothbrushes and think to myself, “only in America can something so easy become so difficult.” Apparently, a tried and true product that does what it’s supposed to do (and nothing more) is too much to ask for in this fancy-fied day and age.
I mean come on, folks – are we this lazy? Can we not move our wrist back and forth and agitate the bristles ourselves? Is it really too much to have to hold onto a toothbrush without having to push onto a little thumb-guard on the stem, or a nubbly, rubberized area on the handle?
I, for one, was fine using a brush without these features for 40-some-odd years, and I don’t need extra help now. Plus, with all these “improvements,” my new toothbrush won’t fit into the slot of the bathroom fixture for which it was designed.
I wouldn’t mind so much if I could choose between those advanced toothbrushes and the plain ones. But somewhere along the line, the plain toothbrush has gone the way of the dodo. It’s not to be found, and believe me, I’ve looked!
I’m sure it’s all about the money. The toothbrush-makers have figured out that if they make one that looks more complicated, they can charge more money for it! But the marketing geniuses forgot one thing. Some people like their toothbrushes the old way!
Now dentists are even in on the scam. I went for my six-month check-up, and sure enough, the toothbrush they handed me on my way out was one of the new-fangled ones. I handed it back, asking in dismay, “what happened to good ol’ Oral-B 40?”
Back in the glory days, that’s what dentists always recommended. It was the workhorse of the pros, the Chevy of oral care. Now they only offer Cadillacs, and I don’t need one.
I guess I’m just old-fashioned, but for clean teeth, I don’t need flashy or mechanical implements. Next thing you know, they’ll start selling motorized floss.
Playlist:
1. The Hard Way – James Hunter
2. Give Me The Simple Life – Rosemary Clooney
3. I’m Old-Fashioned – Ella Fitzgerald
4. Just One Look – Doris Troy
5. Can’t Buy Me Love – The Beatles
6. Things Ain’t Like They Used To Be – The Black Keys
7. Simple Man – Graham Nash
8. Old School – John Conlee
9. Straight Up – Paula Abdul
10. Simply Irresistible – Robert Palmer
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Mental Floss
Last week I wrote about having the winter blues and joked about taking a trip to a tropical island to feel better. But let’s admit it – here in the real world, very few of us have that option.
That’s why you have to get creative when it comes to cleaning out those cranial cobwebs!
How about breaking away from your workaday routine by simply doing something different during the time you have off from your job? If you always watch the same old TV shows, try renting a DVD or joining the kids for a video game (if they’ll let you). You might like it so much that you make it a regular family event.
Don’t overlook low-tech activities like board games, cards and puzzles. They’re tried and true, and they still work even if the electricity goes out. Say that’s an idea: spend an evening pretending there’s no power; you’ll see things in a new light.
When I’m in a rut, one of my favorite things is to rearrange the furniture. This can be as simple as switching out some seating, tables or pictures. Or, for an all-out change-of-pace, try picking out a new paint color for that boring guestroom. It’s amazing how little time it takes to truly transform your space. And it’s much more fun than just “spring cleaning!”
Sometimes we get so caught up with providing for others that we forget to be good to ourselves. I’ll bet there’s something that’s always made you feel good in times of loneliness, depression or just plain burn-out. Set aside some time to do that thing. If you used to play the guitar, pull it out and strum a few chords. If you’ve always loved to swim, check out a fitness center with an indoor pool. Sit back with a cup of tea and read that mystery novel you’ve heard about.
Of course, the handiest cure for us working folk is the weekend road trip. The closer the better, because you don’t want to waste precious hours of your mini-vacation stuck in interstate traffic.
You can avoid the cost of lodging by employing the time-honored tradition of mooching. Most of us know someone with a place where we could stay. If not a friend, perhaps a friend of a friend, or an acquaintance, or a relative of an acquaintance. Maybe call in a favor. You get the idea. Just be sure you don’t trash the place.
Last weekend I borrowed a cabin up on Norris Lake. Even though nothing was expected, etiquette required me to leave a bottle of wine, a little cash to cover utilities and more in the fridge than when I got there. I also tidied up, sweeping and taking my garbage with me. That way I was able to leave with not only a sense of renewed energy and centeredness, but also a sense that I would be welcome back. Everybody wins!
Playlist:
1. Baby, It’s Cold Outside – Eydie Gorme & Steve Lawrence
2. I’ve Got That Old Feeling – Alison Krauss
3. Make It Easy On Yourself – Jerry Butler
4. Vacation – The Go-Gos
5. It Won’t Be Long – The Beatles
6. Summer Me, Winter Me – Barbra Streisand
7. Let’s Get Away From It All – Frank Sinatra
8. Cabin In The Sky – Rosemary Clooney
9. Borrow Some Summertime – Jim Lauderdale
10. Someone Keeps Moving My Chair – They Might Be Giants
That’s why you have to get creative when it comes to cleaning out those cranial cobwebs!
How about breaking away from your workaday routine by simply doing something different during the time you have off from your job? If you always watch the same old TV shows, try renting a DVD or joining the kids for a video game (if they’ll let you). You might like it so much that you make it a regular family event.
Don’t overlook low-tech activities like board games, cards and puzzles. They’re tried and true, and they still work even if the electricity goes out. Say that’s an idea: spend an evening pretending there’s no power; you’ll see things in a new light.
When I’m in a rut, one of my favorite things is to rearrange the furniture. This can be as simple as switching out some seating, tables or pictures. Or, for an all-out change-of-pace, try picking out a new paint color for that boring guestroom. It’s amazing how little time it takes to truly transform your space. And it’s much more fun than just “spring cleaning!”
Sometimes we get so caught up with providing for others that we forget to be good to ourselves. I’ll bet there’s something that’s always made you feel good in times of loneliness, depression or just plain burn-out. Set aside some time to do that thing. If you used to play the guitar, pull it out and strum a few chords. If you’ve always loved to swim, check out a fitness center with an indoor pool. Sit back with a cup of tea and read that mystery novel you’ve heard about.
Of course, the handiest cure for us working folk is the weekend road trip. The closer the better, because you don’t want to waste precious hours of your mini-vacation stuck in interstate traffic.
You can avoid the cost of lodging by employing the time-honored tradition of mooching. Most of us know someone with a place where we could stay. If not a friend, perhaps a friend of a friend, or an acquaintance, or a relative of an acquaintance. Maybe call in a favor. You get the idea. Just be sure you don’t trash the place.
Last weekend I borrowed a cabin up on Norris Lake. Even though nothing was expected, etiquette required me to leave a bottle of wine, a little cash to cover utilities and more in the fridge than when I got there. I also tidied up, sweeping and taking my garbage with me. That way I was able to leave with not only a sense of renewed energy and centeredness, but also a sense that I would be welcome back. Everybody wins!
Playlist:
1. Baby, It’s Cold Outside – Eydie Gorme & Steve Lawrence
2. I’ve Got That Old Feeling – Alison Krauss
3. Make It Easy On Yourself – Jerry Butler
4. Vacation – The Go-Gos
5. It Won’t Be Long – The Beatles
6. Summer Me, Winter Me – Barbra Streisand
7. Let’s Get Away From It All – Frank Sinatra
8. Cabin In The Sky – Rosemary Clooney
9. Borrow Some Summertime – Jim Lauderdale
10. Someone Keeps Moving My Chair – They Might Be Giants
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Dim Sun Serves Up Sadness
The official start of spring may be March 21, but I’m not feeling it yet!
Right about now, it seems like winter will never end. I blame my blues on the cold temps and cloudy skies. It feels like my neck is permanently squinched up from huddling against the chills. In short, there’s nothing wrong with me that a good full-body massage and a couple of weeks in the Caribbean wouldn’t fix right up!
I think there’s some truth to the idea that wintertime itself is what’s bringing me down. Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is a type of depression characterized by wintertime weight gain, fatigue, craving for sweet and starchy foods, and tendency to oversleep.
According to experts, the likely culprit is lack of sunlight.
Scandinavians are prone to SAD, as are Alaskans. The further you get from the equator, the weaker the sunlight is, and in the winter when the sun is farthest from the Earth, that extra distance is all it takes to push you over the edge and into a first-rate funk.
You can buy a fancy light box and sit near it (but don’t look directly at it). Just as good: go outside and soak up some sun! If it’s February and you’re having trouble concentrating, stop squinting at your computer, stand up, get outside and turn your chin up to the sky for 10 minutes or so. And moving around while you’re out there won’t hurt either. If you’re feeling down and out, don’t go postal; take a brisk 10-minute walk and kick-start those endorphins into action!
It’s no surprise that many northerners head to Florida every winter. I’ve heard them referred to as snowbirds. Although there’s also a lucky contingent that live up in the land of the Yankees in the summer and fall, stay in Florida for the winter and stop somewhere in Appalachia for a few months – or the rest of their lives – to enjoy our awe-inspiring springs. I call them halfbacks.
Various pop songs have made reference to SAD. I’ll now paraphrase some lines from an old chestnut:
“Gray skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face
(I know you miss that big bright ball of warmth that used to be up in the sky. Try not to dwell on the fact that it’s colder outside than a brass commode in an igloo.)
Brush off the clouds and cheer up, put on a happy face
(Goodness – I actually don’t need to wear a scarf today! Hey, the dog has started shedding again. And are those crocuses I see budding up through the snow?)
… and spread sunshine all over the place, just put on a happy face!”
(When you smile, you can be the sunshine in someone else’s day! Alternately, you can put them on a plane to a Miami hotel with spa service and a mini-bar. Your call!)
Playlist:
1. Sometimes in Winter – Blood Sweat & Tears
2. Seasons in the Sun – Me First & the Gimme Gimmes
3. Hazy Shade of Winter – Simon & Garfunkel
4. Too Cold in the Winter – Cry of Love
5. Invisible Sun – The Police
6. In the Winter – Janis Ian
7. Cold Day in the Sun – Foo Fighters
8. I’ll Follow the Sun – The Beatles
9. The Warmth of the Sun – The Beach Boys
10. Florida – Patty Griffin
Right about now, it seems like winter will never end. I blame my blues on the cold temps and cloudy skies. It feels like my neck is permanently squinched up from huddling against the chills. In short, there’s nothing wrong with me that a good full-body massage and a couple of weeks in the Caribbean wouldn’t fix right up!
I think there’s some truth to the idea that wintertime itself is what’s bringing me down. Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is a type of depression characterized by wintertime weight gain, fatigue, craving for sweet and starchy foods, and tendency to oversleep.
According to experts, the likely culprit is lack of sunlight.
Scandinavians are prone to SAD, as are Alaskans. The further you get from the equator, the weaker the sunlight is, and in the winter when the sun is farthest from the Earth, that extra distance is all it takes to push you over the edge and into a first-rate funk.
You can buy a fancy light box and sit near it (but don’t look directly at it). Just as good: go outside and soak up some sun! If it’s February and you’re having trouble concentrating, stop squinting at your computer, stand up, get outside and turn your chin up to the sky for 10 minutes or so. And moving around while you’re out there won’t hurt either. If you’re feeling down and out, don’t go postal; take a brisk 10-minute walk and kick-start those endorphins into action!
It’s no surprise that many northerners head to Florida every winter. I’ve heard them referred to as snowbirds. Although there’s also a lucky contingent that live up in the land of the Yankees in the summer and fall, stay in Florida for the winter and stop somewhere in Appalachia for a few months – or the rest of their lives – to enjoy our awe-inspiring springs. I call them halfbacks.
Various pop songs have made reference to SAD. I’ll now paraphrase some lines from an old chestnut:
“Gray skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face
(I know you miss that big bright ball of warmth that used to be up in the sky. Try not to dwell on the fact that it’s colder outside than a brass commode in an igloo.)
Brush off the clouds and cheer up, put on a happy face
(Goodness – I actually don’t need to wear a scarf today! Hey, the dog has started shedding again. And are those crocuses I see budding up through the snow?)
… and spread sunshine all over the place, just put on a happy face!”
(When you smile, you can be the sunshine in someone else’s day! Alternately, you can put them on a plane to a Miami hotel with spa service and a mini-bar. Your call!)
Playlist:
1. Sometimes in Winter – Blood Sweat & Tears
2. Seasons in the Sun – Me First & the Gimme Gimmes
3. Hazy Shade of Winter – Simon & Garfunkel
4. Too Cold in the Winter – Cry of Love
5. Invisible Sun – The Police
6. In the Winter – Janis Ian
7. Cold Day in the Sun – Foo Fighters
8. I’ll Follow the Sun – The Beatles
9. The Warmth of the Sun – The Beach Boys
10. Florida – Patty Griffin
