Caffeine Queen

I have a love-hate relationship with caffeine.

I’ve been hooked on it ever since college. My caffeine delivery system of choice: coffee. From the muddy jolt of a deceptively tiny espresso to the frothy indulgence of a gi-normous iced cappuccino, coffee has been working its mood-altering magic on my sluggish bloodstream for more than 30 years.
Once back in the ’80s I consumed more caffeine than my heart could handle. I experienced premature ventricular contractions (PVCs). Not uncommon for women in their 20s, but at the time it scared the heck out of me. There’s nothing quite like waking up from a sound sleep to feel your heart pounding out a jerky, uneven beat like a bad Ricky Ricardo conga solo.

So I laid off the coffee for a while, but it wasn’t long before I had to answer the seductive, unrelenting call of the java.
It’s a fine line upon which I trod, this border between under- and over-caffeination. My morning allotment consists of careful calculations of “caf” and “decaf,” providing just the right chemical fix to clear away the morning cobwebs, yet not to cause jitters or irritability.
I don’t always get it right.

Many’s the morning I can feel myself crashing down off my coffee buzz. And there are times when I know that to keep a lurking tension headache at bay, I’ll need three times my usual dosage. But I’m a happy slave to that cup o’ joe!
I’m sure there are those who would point to my caffeine addiction as the root of many physical problems. They have every right to recommend healthier brews like herbal tea or other alternative boosters. But old habits die hard. Tell you what – let’s make a date to discuss the matter thoroughly at the nearest Starbucks.

Playlist:
1. Java Jive — Manhattan Transfer
2. Black Coffee in Bed — Squeeze
3. Cigarettes and Coffee — Otis Redding
4. The Coffee Song — Frank Sinatra
5. Heartstopper — Emiliana Torrini
6. Black Coffee — Julie London
7. Coffee and TV — Blur
8. Coffee Mug — Descendents
9. Coffee in the Pot — Supergrass
10. Can’t Break the Habit — Merle Haggard