"Cutting Back" Calories

So there I was last Saturday, doing what I do best – lying on the couch watching TV. The Red Sox/Angels game fit quite nicely into that plan.
But as the innings wore on, there was a gnawing feeling in my gut. Two feelings, actually.
The first one concerned my recent attempt at being better about my extra pounds and the shedding thereof. I’ve been eating a little better, but exercising is still coming very slowly. Not unlike the molasses in January you’ve heard about.
So I split the difference and just worried about not exercising. And speaking of neuroses …
My second gut feeling was a sense of guilt because I wasn’t outside doing yard work. The yard needed tidying, the weeds needed pulling, the garden needed composting, the flower beds needed “grubbing out” and mulching. When I pondered the big picture, it was just too daunting.

Hence the gnawing feeling around my beltline and in my guilt-center (wherever that is). By the time Boston pulled out the win, it was too dark to start making with the green thumb. And besides, it was dinnertime. “Can’t start any projects on an empty stomach,” I rationalized.

I managed to claw out of my valley of indecision on Sunday. It didn’t hurt that the weather was one of those perfect days we all dreamt about back in February. Sunny, breezy and warm. And we’re in that glorious window of Spring in East Tennessee when it’s late enough not to freeze your buns off, but the mosquitoes have yet to arrive.
Ah, Knoxville at dogwood time!
So anyway, I was eying the layer of rotting leaves in the driveway, that slippery mess that threatens to deck me every time I get into my car. I started in to shoveling, really putting my back into it with each scrape, when it occurred to me.
God bless the fitness centers and those folks they help, but if this frugal fatty doesn’t want to invest in a gym membership, wouldn’t yard work keep me fit just as well? If I made a commitment to stay ahead of all the mowing, cutting and so forth in a timely manner, who knows what kind of transformation I’d see in myself – and the yard!
My weight training would be to haul mountainous tarp-fuls of brush to the curb. I’d check in with my workout buddy Randy, as in Randy the dandelion. My butt would feel the burn with John, my John Deere push-mower. I’d work my biceps with my personal trainer Virginia. Virginia Creeper that is. And if she went into hiding, there’d always be her pesky assistant, Creeping Charlie. Tim the Limb could spot me as I sawed away at his dead deciduous brethren. Somebody stop me. …
OK, you get the picture. There’s a built-in exercise regimen right outside my window, and maybe yours too. Time’s a’wastin’!

Playlist:
1. The State I Am In – Belle & Sebastian
2. I Decide When It Gets Pulled – Fracture Soundtrack
3. Sunday Girl – Blondie
4. Break On Through – The Doors
5. Dig a Pony – The Beatles
6. Ain’t It Heavy – Melissa Etheridge
7. Gardening at Night – R.E.M.
8. A Rose for Emily – The Zombies
9. Pleasant Valley Sunday – The Monkees
10. Do It Again – Steely Dan